Nurah- A Madani Wedding

I was born in Jeddah but raised in Madina. I got married last year at the age of 23 in a very traditional wedding. I say ‘traditional’, because I decided that I didn’t want to see my groom before the wedding.

My now sister-in-law had always wanted me for her brother since we were children. She had seen me at a wedding when I was around 12 years old.

When I was 22, she called my mother and asked for my hand. I was listening into the conversation and waved at my mum to refuse. My mum requested a week to think about it. That one week was hell for me. I had been at home for four years doing nothing but I still wasn’t interested in marriage.

My father and brothers asked around about ‘the boy’ and even though people said good things about him, I wasn’t ready. My family tried to persuade me but I wanted to study and stay with my parents as the only daughter amongst three sons (two of whom who live outside of Madina).

One whole year passed and in the same month, my sis-in-law called again. She asked my mum to ask me once more.

I was playing on the playstation when my mum came to ask me saying ‘The guy is good’. I still hadn’t gained admission at a university so this time I gave it some serious thought thinking, maybe its ‘Bab al-khayr’ (a source of good) for me. I told my parents, ‘Allah sends us people who are khayr. Maybe he will be khair for me’.
He had a good job and akhlaq, so this time I agreed.

Traditionally, I would meet the groom at this stage but I refused. I prayed istikhara and relied on Allah.

My parents kept asking me if I was sure and I was firm in my decision. I didn’t even see a photo of him. My husband was the same. He decided he would wait until our wedding day to see me. He trusted his sister’s impression of me.
We arranged for the Shaykh to come to our house and had the nikah signed followed by the ‘Milka ceremony’ a couple of weeks later. This was the first time I saw my husband. It was me, him and the photographer! I was so nervous; so was he.

I was a little shocked when I saw him as he looked older so I asked him old he was! But I knew he was a good man and he has been.

May Allah bless our marriage with khair.