Saida, London

A Wakeup Call

I used to be Muslim in name only. My husband used to tell me to pray but my response was always, “You’re going to go to your grave, and I will go to mine, so leave me alone”. It was a smart response, but not very helpful. Then on 19th January 1994, I was on a plane travelling back to England when suddenly we hit really bad turbulence. It was terrible. I had been dozing off and was awoken by it. Right then, something gripped my heart and I thought, “O Allah, is this it, am I coming back to You? Please Allah, I haven’t obeyed You! I haven’t prayed my prayers or done what you asked me to!”. I pleaded with Allah to give me another chance. As soon as we landed, from that day on, I changed and haven’t looked back since. AlhamduliLah that He gave me another chance!

Ten years on (to the day!), on the 19th of January, 2004, I was on a plane when we hit bad turbulence again. This time I felt much better and thought, “AlhamduliLah! Allah, you’ve given me a good ten years. May be it isn’t enough but I’m ready if you want to take me back”.

Everyday I thank Allah for waking me up before putting me to sleep for the final time. I cant thank Him enough.

Background

I’m a theatre nurse and was born in Uganda, East Africa, in a little town called Ginga. Its actually the source of the river Nile; that’s where I’m from. My mother was Ugandan and my father was from Lahore in what was then India, when he left in 1940. He joined the British Army and was posted out to Africa during the second world war. After the war finished he moved to Kenya and then on to Uganda where he met my mother and married her. I don’t know how he met my mum; they never spoke of these things but it was unusual for an Asian man to take a native wife. My father used to say to the other Asian men out there at the time that, ‘this is my wife. I’m not going to sneak off at night and secretly meet her in the alleyways. This is my wife and she will live with me in my house’. My father was already married and had a wife and children back in Lahore, and after a while he called them all over to Uganda and we lived together with my step mum and my half siblings.

Coming to the UK

I had always wanted to be a nurse. I was in awe of the midwife that would come to our house when my mum was delivering my siblings and decided then that this was something I wanted to do. At school too, I was the first to qualify as a first aider. So when I was 20 years old, I wanted to come to the UK to study nursing. My father took a while to convince because it was unheard of, but he finally came around to the idea and I left for the UK. My family ended up joining me two months later as they were British citizens, though living in Uganda after it gained independence.

Family Life

I was introduced to my husband through family. At the time, there were many people who didn’t have the correct paperwork in the UK. My husband was one of them! He was a young man from Pakistan that had jumped ship after it docked in Liverpool and made his way to London. We met and I thought he was a good man and we got married. I had my twin boys that year and left work. When the boys were six months old I returned to work to do the odd night shift, so I could help with the family income. When the boys were four years old, I saw an advert for nurses in Saudi Arabia. We wanted to buy a house and the pay package looked good and we thought we could save enough to put down a deposit on the house. So I left the boys with my mum (their father would visit each weekend), and left for Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. I felt terrible and cried each night when I was out there but consoled myself by telling myself that I was doing it for them. Calling back home wasn’t easy or cheap in those days so we wrote letters. My husband would send me pictures of the boys and keep me updated on how they were doing, as did my mum. I visited every six months and although the plan was to work in Jeddah for two years, I couldn’t do it anymore after 18-months and returned home. It was too much to be away from my boys. During the time I was working in Saudi, we managed to save enough and put down a deposit on a house, alhamdulillah.

Life Progresses

I wasn’t of retiring age, but took medical retirement from work in 2004, because of a bad back and didn’t work for five years. Whilst at home, my first grandchild, a girl, was born. My son and his family were living with us at that time and it was lovely having them. Some years later my son was offered a job in Dubai and asked if they could relocate out there. I told him that I wouldn’t stand in the way of anyone’s progress. After they left, the house was so empty and everywhere I turned I could see and hear my grand-daughter calling out, ‘Daddi! Daddi! (Grandma! Grandma!). When I used to go to do wudu, she would sit outside the bathroom and say, ‘Daddi, you go and do wudu, I’ll wait here’. It was terrible after they left. I thought I would go mad at home so decided to return to work. I had to get back on the nursing register which wasn’t easy as I had to do a ‘back to nursing’ programme. My back had been bad, but I had been doing yoga exercises and it had recovered a lot. Allah heals you, plus its mind over matter: If you let pain rule you, it will. If you fight it, with the permission of Allah, you can overcome it.

Ramadan Umrah

In Ramadan in 2007, my son said, ‘Mum, we’re sending you and dad to Umrah’. I was shocked and then said, ‘Wait a minute, I don’t want to go for 10 or 15 days; I want to go for the whole month!’. My sons had already thought of that and had booked us on a trip for the entire month. Ramadan here is the best. You really cant compare it to anything else. Now we try and come each year. People are scared of coming in Ramadan when they think about the crowds but Allah sees you through everything. I go to Upton Park station in London and I hate the crowds after a West Ham football match.

I am really petrified of those crowds; but the crowds here, we’re one. This is my crowd. I belong to this crowd. There’s nothing to worry about. Everyone should experience Ramadan here.